God, help me

I still believe that some of the most powerful and profound prayers are the shortest and simplest ones: “God, help me.”  I say this because I often find myself with no other words but ‘God, help me… Help me with ___.’  I also believe that pride is dangerous and easily acquired in our lives. That’s one of the things I often pray for help with.  Pride steals our joy; it steals our feeling of true purpose and worth.  It makes us overly sensitive and defensive, and it facilitates unforgiveness, resentment and unfair and grace-less judgment.  Pride is a thief of all good things.  I’m not claiming this as a new discovery or a brand new insight – simply a personal one.

The conviction of pride (and I almost think that true conviction requires ugly crying) is extremely painful and simultaneously liberating.  The same goes for the confession of pride.  Our ego is our sense of self-esteem and self-importance, and when that gets hurt it’s excruciating and disorienting.  For those who truly seek God and desire to become more and more like Christ, and yet themselves are on a journey  and may have an unhealthy level of ego, uncomfortable ego-checks are necessary.  I say this because I’ve had them (and continue to).  Do not pray for humility unless you’re ready for it.  Who said sanctification/the path of discipleship was easy, anyway?  At the same time, whenever I’m able to identify what my issue is – be it pride or something else – it’s indescribably freeing to let go of that burden .  That usually involves lament, perhaps some embarrassment, and confession – all eventually followed by priceless peace.

I’m continually drawn to Philippians 2:

Therefore if you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any common sharing in the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.
In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus:
Who, being in very nature God,
did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage;
rather, he made himself nothing
by taking the very nature of a servant,
being made in human likeness.
And being found in appearance as a man,
he humbled himself
by becoming obedient to death—
even death on a cross! (Philippians 2:1-8)
Pray with me:
…But give me the strength that waits upon You in silence and peace. Give me humility in which alone is rest, and deliver me from pride which is the heaviest of burdens. And possess my whole heart and soul with the simplicity of love. Occupy my whole life with the one thought and the one desire of love, that I may love not for the sake of merit, not for the sake of perfection, not for the sake of virtue, not for the sake of sanctity, but for You alone.  Thomas Merton, New Seeds of Contemplation

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